You are Important…

On Saturday I went to a spa for a couple of hours to enjoy the jacuzzi, sauna and steam rooms, and I thought to myself, ‘why have I left it until now, when I am burnt out, to do something like this?’

It got me thinking that I see signs of many of us, in our profession, behaving similarly. I see some people not taking regular holidays because they don’t want to let their clients down or putting off having personal therapy due to the expense or time taken.

I often reflect that this paradoxical struggle (when we are telling others to take care of themselves daily) to take care of ourselves can be due to the type of issues that brought us to this work in the first place. I suspect that many people reading this will relate to the term ‘wounded healer’. I believe that even after all the training there are vestiges of those ‘I’m not important’ or ‘all I need to do is survive’ thoughts. 

It is such a shame because this can mean we aren’t reaching our full potential (for instance, how many times have you said something like ‘I’d love to set up a women’s support group but….’ or ‘I’d love to run an online course but…’ Even more importantly, what is our quality of life like if we are leaving looking after ourselves until the last possible moment. 

I think it is vital to tell you: YOU ARE IMPORTANT!! With a mental health provision bursting at the seams, we are plugging an essential gap in the UK currently (and this is unlikely to change and any time soon). This is particularly the case when we consider that many of us may offer concessionary rates for those who cannot afford standard rates for counselling, and many even do voluntary roles on top of their paid role. 

According to mental health charity, Mind, one in four people in England are affected by or living with a mental health problem each year. 1.16 million people were in contact with mental health services by the end of July 2022 (in other words there were 1.16 million open cases). Figures from the NHS reveal that between 2021-22, there was a 21.5% rise in the number of people accessing talking therapies. There is a growing range of talking therapies available to those in need. Whilst there is a growing range of talking therapies available to those in need, it appears that not everyone is being offered the full range.

According to the 'We still need to talk' report by Mind, 40% of those surveyed had to request access to psychological therapies rather than being offered access. Additionally, over half waited over three months for treatment, whilst 58% said they were not given a choice as to the type of therapy they received. As counsellors, whether in private practice or otherwise, we are needed. You are needed. (Statistics courtesy of The Counselling Directory).

I love my job and it is one of those lines of work that you don’t do unless you do love it. However, it is also important to remember how tough it is. Many don’t realise the widely varied issues people come to counsellors and psychotherapists for support with each week: suicidal ideation, depression, trauma, anxiety, bereavement, infertility, domestic violence, childhood abuse; I could go on and on. Then there’s the fact that sometimes the conversations can trigger our own issues and we must deal with this well for the sake of our clients and ourselves. Let’s not also forget that whilst we are doing all this, we often have our own ongoing issues to deal with.

The point is: remember you are important! Take the actions you need to demonstrate to yourself that you know this, whether that is finding a way to have your own therapy, going to a spa or taking a break. We need you and you are worth it!